And will always remain you and me.

2010-11-23T22:29:00.000-08:00

I skipped school today, and here i am rotting at home. I'm missing Hazzy so badly now, cause i just happen to browse thru my Myanmar folder, pics of me and her, me and him, the three us. What naughty things we did over there, every minute spent there suddenly bcame crystal clear. Frankly, eversince i'm much closer to yoz's mates, (yoza, zac and fareed) and we always go out in a group with Hazzy along, i always can't seem to have the chance to catch up with her, she'll always be with zac/yoza and i will always be with yoz. I miss going out with her and yoz. Just the 3 of us, we can talk anything under the sun. I miss yoz driving us in the car, throughout the night till morning. And how we promised not to fall asleep but in the end, we did. hehe. I miss having our talks with snacks on the other hand, I miss teasing Hazzy and hugging her. We may be drift apart along the way, but the days i spent being her room mate from the school hostel to Myanmar, she taught me alot of things about friendship, and she respects me. She never once belittles me and hurt my feelings one way or another. I don't want anything between us to change, that's for sure.

I just want her to know that she's never once forgotten by me.

I love you, Hazzybaby.

2010-10-23T23:07:00.001-07:00

… secret to a successful relationship.

Do not fucking lie to your girlfriend
Do not lie about money. Do not lie about partying. Do not lie about smoking weed and drinking. Do not lie about where you’re at. Do not lie about talking to other girls. Do not lie about cheating. Just don’t fucking lie.
You wanna know why?
Women are light years ahead of us when it comes to relationships. We will never ever compare. We don’t know how to cover our tracks. We don’t think long term enough and when we do think two steps ahead, they’re over there, 5 more steps in front. We can’t fucking win.
If you lie, they will find out. Whether it’s in one day or in one year, they’re gonna find out and when they do… They will get mad. They will yell. They will throw shit at you. They may or may not hit/smack/slap/strangle you and/or rip out your testicles.
So if you fuck up and you lie to cover it up, it’s only a matter of time till they find out and when they find out they’re gonna be fucking pissed off regardless.
You’re better off just telling the truth and getting it over with because lying to your girlfriend is like a ticking time bomb, it’s gonna blow up in your face no matter what. So just don’t fucking lie, you’re not gonna get away with it.

-from mira's tumblr. :)

2010-10-06T07:11:00.000-07:00

I'm sick of feeling this way each and everytime.

2010-09-10T20:32:00.000-07:00

I will always love you kekasihku

Dalam hidupku hanya dirimu satu

I will always need you cintaku

Selamanya takkan pernah terganti

Ku mau menjadi yang terakhir untukmu

Ku mau menjadi mimpi indahmu

Cintai aku dengan hatimu

Seperti aku mencintaimu

Sayangi aku dengan kasihmu

I will always love you kekasihku

Dalam hidupku hanya dirimu satu

Ku mau menjadi yang terakhir untukmu

Ku mau menjadi mimpi indahmu

Seperti aku menyayangimu

I will be the last for you

And you will be the last for me.

2010-08-07T21:52:00.000-07:00

Long hair days. :(

Yesterday was a blast. Came over to his crib in the morning. Chill, lunched and headed to Cine for our movie; The Crazies. It was pretty good. After the movie met Khai and his date, we hang out at 313 coffeebean where Zuree works, free drinks ++. :D Laughed so much with the bunch. After which we headed back home, dinnered at my house. Lepak w boyf in my room, we laughed at my old nerdy pictures. Super duper heartache yknow when i browsed through photos of me still having long hair, haha. And he will purposely say, 'NICE HAIR'. grrr. It's okay, my hair will grow. :( Anyway thought of going Vybes today, then Kak Ina says that today will be packed. sighhh. I'm stuck at home and rotting. Should i go popular to buy my stuffs, but kinda lazeee la. haha boyf is doing his Onco project with Khai. Hmm shall see how. BOREDDDD.

Can't wait for tomorrow watching fireworks w love and friends; Yoza, Fareed, Zack & maybe Khai. Poor Hazzybaby is working maybe afterwards we will fetch you or something k? Anything we will text you. :)

P/S: FIREWORKS. <3<3<3

2010-08-04T05:47:00.000-07:00

( Missing my longgg locks of wavy curls, sigh. nevermind, it will grow eventually.)

Phew finally i have my own time, it's been ages since i last blogged. Time passed really quickly. I'm currently busy with attachments, previously when i'm back in campus i was busy with weekly tests, projects and exams. Sighh. Today is my 3rd day in IMH, was pretty okay, not as traumatizing anymore. haha. I made new friends. Played some games and have a chat with them. After work, headed to redhill with Umar and Alisa to collect our accreditation card and uniform for YOG. Damn crowded. My accreditation card photo is fugly and my cheeks were humongous, which apparently took 3/4 of the space. -.- Once we're done we took 33 alllllllllllll the way to Bedok. 1 hour plus journeyy, i almost died of restlessness.

I need to workout this Saturday, been too occupied for the past 2 weeks that i didn't visit the gym that much anymore. Poor boyfriend, went without me. Not only the gym, i also didn't come over to his place that often anymore and visit his family and our babies. I hope he's mugging for tomorrow's test, and the stupid migraines of his didn't come back. :(

I'm so happy, that i have the computer all to myself in my room now. Finally i can blog, chat and do my own things with privacy apart from occasional peeks from my dad. -.-

i don't need a lappie now, maybe i do cause this stylo flat-screen computer of mine has an ancient CPU which has been running even before i was born, hahah nah jk. So because of that, my computer always lags when i'm in the midst of surfing the net or whatsoever. Annoying.

Alright will update again when i'm free. xoxo.

2010-07-31T22:03:00.000-07:00

Misses! Let's watch fireworks again my dear people. C:

2010-07-05T20:46:00.000-07:00

Happy 7th monthsary, baby. :)

Thank you for coming into my life.
You mean so much to me, Md Feeroz. ily.

2010-06-01T11:21:00.000-07:00

Little did i know that, you did all those in the past, again. If an old friend didn't tell me, i would never find out about your deeds. No wonder my heart wasn't at ease for an unexplainable reason back then. I can no longer feel the pain and hurt when i heard it. All i felt was pure disappointment cause it's not the first time. It's pretty unfair when i've gave you so many chances yet, you did all that again behind my back. At first, i was in a denial stage trying to comfort myself that it is all rumours, but i've reached to a point, whereby i'm accepting everything. I'm putting everything behind. i've never hated you, and never ever will. Takecare, hope you're doing alright.
you-know-who-you-are.

sigh. :(

2010-05-30T03:56:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the fricking late update, was having my exams and now that i'm having my holidays, i'm either too lazy or too tired to update. heee.

Baby's 24th birthday celebration.

So that day, he fetched me and off we went to Uncle Toby's to have our lunch. We were lost along the way, haha.

Finally, we found the place. I had Fish and Chips and he had Grilled Chicken Black Pepper Steak.

If i remembered correctly.

After our lunch, he headed to Sentosa. :)

We took the skyride, finally. We've been wanting to take it for so long. But it was pretty scary for me at first, i kept pinching his thighs, and my palms were all sweaty but eventually, it was alright. I was afraid that my slippers would slip off and landed on the trees. haha. and oh, I loved the view.

Walked around, and had ice-creams.

After which, we headed to Keppel Bay. Our second time going there, our first was with Hazzy baby, we should go there again and slack at night. And and it was time for boyf to open his pressies! hee!

I gave him my hand-made card first which is filled with my friends' wishes and also mine. :)

Then, i gave him the present that my parents bought for him.

Now, my present to him. Hope you like it!

Shortly after, he sent me back. I told him i cannot be back home late that night as i needed to mug for my exams, little did he know that actually his friends are fetching me and heading to his voiddeck at midnight to surpise him. hee! So once i reached home, i rushed like hell. Hazzy and the guys were already downstairs waiting for me.

Around his area, waiting for Zack & Merrie to come with the cake.

Hazzybaby.

Preparing the candles and planning on our perfect strategy to surprise him.

Yoza called him to meet him downstairs to lepak or borrow something, while yoza is distracting him, we surprised my baby from the back. hehe.

Brotherly love. Aww so cuteee. After eating the cake, we went up his place to wash our hands. Headed to Changi to slack, via convoy.

phew what a looong day. But i'm sure boyf enjoyed himself. :)
The next day, went karaoke with his family. Another surprise for boyf. :)

ily.<3

2010-05-15T05:50:00.000-07:00

have a good weekend earthlings. :)

2010-05-07T10:34:00.000-07:00

Boyfie bought 2 adidas jackets for me just now. heeeee! so happy. But you really, shouldnt have yknow. :) thanks so much baby, i love it! :)

2010-05-01T08:46:00.000-07:00

It's already midnight, and i havent start studying my geron yet. I've been trying to, but the weather is super hot today and i will tend to get very distracted and restless. Anyway, i know it's been ages since i last have a proper update. First and foremost, i wanna express my utmost apologies to all, if i've hurt unintentionally. I realised that i havent been myself for these past weeks or so. Don't ask me why, i'm not sure why myself. I'm more withdrawn, prefers to be on my own. Be it in school or at home. I spend most of my time, thinking and analysing. Something is not right somewhere, i wish i could explain in a proper sentence what that feeling is but i don't know how to. When i browsed through my old photos, during my 1.1 days in campus i realised how much i miss those days. My secondary school days with the girls. I miss having someone to talk to and not pretend anymore, cause apparently now i feel like there's a barrier which seperates me and the world. It just feels empty. I miss haaving time for myself, i hate it trying to rush everything and squeeze my time to please everyone, but yet staying focus. i'm really very tired, trying to give my best and divide myself into so many roles at a time. I doubt anyone understands what i'm blabbering about, oh well, as long as i've let everything out, i feel a sense of relief. Don't get me wrong, i've the best friends, greatest boyfriend and a loving family any can ask for, really. I just hope i can get back on track, perhaps its just the time of the month again, so yeah that explains my weird thoughts and ramblings.

To beloved bf: Happy watching Ip Man 2 baby, drive back home safely. I'll be waiting for your call once you're back.

Right now, i shall start mugging for my geron test, for real. but wait, i've been receiving many fb notifications, a quick peek in fb won't hurt right? i promise it will just be a short while. hee!

2010-05-01T08:32:00.000-07:00

Dearest Iffah Faiqah, i know you're going through a tough time. Trying to cope and take in the big blow. You definitely don't deserve that, babe. I'm always here baby, always. So are the rest, if he don't love, we all love you, sweetie. Heaps of xoxo.

2010-04-26T03:19:00.000-07:00

It's been close to half a year, and I'm happily moving on but yet every single day, you came across my mind involuntarily. I tried to brush those thoughts aside, but sometimes, it won't budge at all. I just hope wherever you are, you're doing just fine.

2010-04-08T00:18:00.001-07:00

ARIES MARCH 21 – APRIL 20
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings.Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves todream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Hardworking. High spirited. (Pretty true, i guess?)
Nothing seems to ruffle you more than a lack of discipline, disloyalty and decorum. But Arians are also known to go into a rage very easily when challenged. Those of you who have been on the receiving end of the Aries temper know that if not calmed down they can even get violent. But one thing is certain if the opponent remains calm and does not react to their outburst, Arians cool down very fast. (HAHA, okay this is so true, yoz has been my victim for countless of times already. sorry.)

What Radin Nur Ain Means
You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row. You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace. People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. ( YES, I GET EXCITED EASILY. ^^) You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
(OHWELLSS. ;p) You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. (Opps.:x) You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way. And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.

2010-04-04T08:34:00.000-07:00

Happy 19th Birthday Myra baby. i know these are ancient pics of us, but i havent took any pics with you for ages already. :( Lepaak soon k? *misses

2010-04-03T10:59:00.000-07:00

2010-03-29T09:37:00.001-07:00

And i love today.
kinky. dirty. passionate. high.
i know you know baby. :)

2010-03-27T11:43:00.000-07:00

We're supposed to go karaoke at Grandlink the other day, but it was changed to Cash Studio @ Ming Arcade in town with babyyosh, yosh's friend yoza, hazzy and khai. :) Mcm nak rak, the guys really sang their heart and throat out. hahaha, and khai got super high and hyper in there.

After our karaoke session, yoza left and the 4 of us went for dinner @ Far East and chill at Taka. Major catching up about our lives. Camwhoreddd loads with hazzybaby. :) I can't wait to see her again and see her doing the shuffling again. hahaha. Overall, i had tonnes of fun with the gang.

I'm missing the rest of the girls so much, currently chatting with Huihui about her lovelife.

I'm missing Nur Amirah Bte Rahmat.

I'm missing Priscilla Lee Shiying.

I'm missing Nadia Natasya.

I'm missing Syafiqah Bte Suhaimi.

My darls back in sec school.

I'm missing my nurses too.

Baby Filzaaah.

Baby Iffah Faiqah.

Baby Ayme.

Baby Brenda.

Baby Weenah.

oh oh Baby Liyana & Baby Alisa.

etc etc and the boys too.

I'm missing Myra, Dezi, Vega etc etc tooo. It's been ages man. sigh. :(

My dearest 2 ladies too, Fitriyah and Sally.

i know my babes are eggcited for April to come, especially Fitriyah. Party+Chalet+Birthday Celebration= EXCITEMENT. Prolly i wont be partying ladies, you ladies go ahead okay? Have fun. :)

I'm missing my dearest Nafeez, Naufal, Syamilah and Abdillah.

Slumber party/sleep-overs soon pls.

However, i'm missing Md Feeroz Ali just as badly too, i started missing you as soon as we said goodbyee. okayy you just called me. what a coincidence. :)

2010-03-18T07:37:00.000-07:00

Insulin Phase Test- Done.

BCLS( 1-man & 2 man CPR) Assessment-Done.

phew, tomorrow will be my last day of my CR week. Its kinda tiring, right after my CP 1.2 and back to school. Just when i thought i could take a break from all the stress of chasing for skills during my attachment, more stress awaits me in campus. Thank goodness, insulin phase test was alright and BCLS assessment too was pretty alright, despite the pressure and migranes. My assessor was Mdm Alice Phua. She's really good but yet very strict. haha recalling back my sec 3 first-aid course when i broke down half way during assessment for CPR and ran to the toilet. Had a major nervous break down. Fortunately, i didn't have any of those today. Dear Yoz waited for me close to 2 hours outside school, cause the freaking BLCS programme ended late. :( pfft. thanks to that irritating specimen, who couldnt stop ranting and making fuss of every little thing. (semalam tak dapat agaknye. tsk.) I'm sorry love for making you wait for so long.

CR week is ending, and i'm defintely gonna miss my darlings in campus. Azhar's kecohness, Iffahfaiqah's mengamokness and how we would play w my star stamp and pretend to pass report, Ayme's nonsenseness, Filzah's kisses and love and the guys' pokes and teases. People don't forget to wake up ALI in the morning k? HAHA. Oh, i was super overjoyed to hear hazzybaby's voice after so long. Karaoke soon alright? imy! :)

my dearest darlings, catch up soon to keruk-keruk our voices yeah?

much love. :)

2010-03-14T08:11:00.000-07:00

My head is still heavy, with throbbing headache and my eyes are as red as ever, throat also painn. sighh. What a loonnng day yesterday, early in the morning i went for my bridge leaders meeting, had quite alot of fun doing rubbish things like designing your own lanyard and some bonding games. Caught in the rain during our lunch break. heee.

Ended around 245, yoz fetched me and back to my place. Got ready, and off we go to ECP for YAID's bbq pit. Catched up abit with Khai, after so long. haha my blog avid reader. I hopes for the best for you okay, don't stop believing. :) Huihui came close to midnight, she cabbed over. babe, how's your head? still numb? if the pain/numbness still persists, better go check okay. Pls don't go back to that useless doctor.

Booze abit at the pit, bought more booze with huihui and settled near the pit, yoz brought bbq chicken wings over. We were damn full already, but still he brought us more. hehh. Huihui updated me about someone last night, i can't believe you kept from me for so long. haha, i understand why you did so babe, it's for my own good. Up till now, my mind still lingers about it.
sigh. Shortly after, my head went spinning and i felt super sleepy. I remembered Khai disturbing me, but everything was kind of blurry. At that point of time, i just want to sleeep. Walked back to Marine Parade, cabbed home w yoz. I slept like a there's no tomorrow in the cab.
heee. The minute i saw my bed, i went under the covers and instantly, doze off.

p/s: I made peach jelly with milo balls today. :D

2010-02-28T18:59:00.000-08:00

Happy 50th birthday to my dearest mum! I hope you like the birthday surprise from us, and the presents too! Thanks boyfriend for being part of this, and making the birthday surprise a successful one. Alright gotta get ready for work! xoxo!

2010-02-22T06:31:00.000-08:00

Yet sometimes we can't turn back time, we must walk away, and allow ourselves to heal.
I know one day you will be happy, and your soulmate you will find.

I know we each have one out there. Our past and memories has been lingering in my mind lately. Wherever you are, do take care of yourself. Someday you will realize things were better this way.

P/S: Poor hazzy baby couldnt log in her facebook and MSN. I miss you babe, meet up soon alright. :) and oh not forgetting my dear yozz, i miss you so damn muchhhhh yknow! I'll be waiting for your call. Study hard. xoxo.

2010-02-21T08:06:00.000-08:00

I'm getting sick of tumblr, somehow. Eventhough it get me hooked by reblogging. I just miss having my own personal space like how i used to right here, in blogger. I miss my blog. Where all my past and sweet and bitter memories were all kept, in the archives.

I'm back darlings. :)

Oh, i made pancakes today. nutella, butter and strawberry jam. My dad kept snatching it from the plate, as soon as i transfer from the pan to the plate. And runs away. grrr.

It looks abit like prata. Heh.

Pancakes anyone? Specially made by RNA, with heaps of love. :)

P/s: I'm currently waiting, for you.

2009-10-24T03:32:00.000-07:00

I've moved.

2009-10-22T06:21:00.000-07:00

I miss my pre-school teaching days badly. No matter how much the kids makes me feel like pulling my hair and banging my head on the wall, i love them to bits and pieces. I have never regret taking up Early Childhood last year, cause along the way when i was working in the preschools, i learnt alot, and always look forward to see them every morning and hear them greet me good morning especially my 2-year old toddlers. The feeling is incredible. I feel loved by those kids, they will hug and give a big wet smooch on my cheeks. I know, they love me as much as i love them. I took care of 3 classes in total. from toddlers to the playgroup. I hope they would understand one day why i had to leave, i had no choice. The longer i stayed there, the more unhappy i felt, my ex-colleagues felt the same way too, but they cant do much as some of them are bonded. Most of my colleagues left too. I can't simply go on with my personal philosophies clashing with the centre's. No matter how hard it is to leave, i had to.
i will always miss them.
I'm sorry my little babies.

Baby Rachel.

My 2 year olds. sigh i miss them :(

one of my favourite boy, Avik.

These are some of my 3 year olds playgroup kids, which i taught during the morning session.

We were on excursion to Marina Barrage. :)

My 2 year old, Nikki.

Worked at My Little Campus at Pasir Ris for 8months and left shortly, and worked at Cherie Hearts for 2-3 months. Over here, i took care of Nursery kids. I enjoyed my stay there while it lasts. Eventhough it was a short one.

The girl at the back is Adrianna. My baby princess. I adored her.

She told her mum, she wants her hair to be like mine. haha.

some outdoor game.

hand-printing. :)

Cookery lesson on 'how to make a tuna sandwich'.

I miss those days. I swear i do. The experience i had with them is just priceless. I wish i could just see them all, just one last time and feel their hugs and kisses all over my face. :(

2009-10-21T07:59:00.000-07:00

Happy 21st Birthday my dear Filzah! :)

Wish you all the best in life, love. Hope you had fun just now with the whole load of us, eventhough it may not be that much, we really hope you enjoyed yourself very much. :)

Remember whenever you need someone to listen/rant and vent out your emotions,

I'm always there. Will always be.

I love you babe. :) xoxoxo!

2009-10-19T07:43:00.000-07:00

In-Campus, Lectures, Dozes, Gossips, Girltalks & Camwhores. :)

Threesome. ;)

We love Filzah baby. *smooches all over. hehehehe.

2 more dayyyyss yer.

Basically, the girls never fail to brighten my day in school. It is impossible for me to sit with Azhar in class without suffering from shortness of oxygen due to continuous laughing. hehe. I'm getting nervous for our upcoming phase test, NGT insertion and feeding.

so many steps to remember. Helpppp! :(

School's the same. Oh, yknow everywhere i go, i see Saifuldin. -.-

like yknow BOOMZ.

anywayyyy, Happy Anniversary Klove.

I know i can be very hard and harsh on you when i'm agitated/pmsing and whatnot.

I really am, sorry. Let's not fight-fight anymore k. :)

Heh, an old pic of us, last year. :)

P/s: Thanks Iffah for the anniversary wish for us in your blog entry. :)

2009-10-17T22:00:00.000-07:00

tak pernah terpikir olehku

tak sedikit pun ku menyangka

kau akan pergi tinggalkan ku sendiri

begitu sulit ku menyangkal

begitu sakit ku rasakan

kau akan pergi tinggalkan ku sendiri

ini lah saat terakhirku melihat kamu

jatuh air mataku menangis pilu

hanya mampu ucapkan selamat jalan kasih

satu jam saja ku telah bisa

cintai kamu kamu kamu di hatiku

namun bagiku melupakanmu

butuh waktuku seumur hidup

2009-10-15T05:37:00.000-07:00

"It's been so long, that i havent seen your face. I tryna be strong, but the strength i had, is washing away..." -Akon

hehehehe. :p

Back in Campus yaww.

2009-10-14T08:03:00.000-07:00

My usual geeky-self in school. :)

Shared locker with Dann, he printed our pics just to paste on our locker. :)

He printed for the girls too, Iffah and Ayme. Our raya pics. :)

Thank god, our time-table are so much shorter now compared to our first half of the year. I can go home everyday early and sleeeeeeep. hee.

Anyway, i had fun making 'The Project Egg' with the rest.

Iffah and i were so excited to test our product by throwing it down the 5th/6th storey down.

Unfortunately our dear Egg cracked. :(

P/S; Thanks for those who were there for me, when i needed someone to rant to. I'm getting along just fine now. How can i not be happy, when there is always someone to kiss me everyday in school?

HAHA. love you, baby F.

and yes you too baby K, you're not forgotten.

wherever you are, whatever you do, pls takecare of yourself.

see you real soon. if you're willing to spare time for me, that is. heh.

Just so you know, we honestly don't hate you, atleast i don't.

There were times when i don't feel comfortable in some way or other.

I don't know about the others but that is all for me.

I don't hold any grudges or have any hatred towards you.

2009-10-11T07:41:00.000-07:00

I'm done locking myself up in my room.

I'm done curling up on my bed and listen to songs.

I'm done soaking my pillowcase.

I'm done venting out my frustration by ____.

I'm done gobbling up junkies.

I'm done being sucha baby.

Cause now i'm putting everything behind me.

2009-10-10T01:39:00.001-07:00

i'm trying to pull myself back as much as possible eventhough it hurts.

M said very hurtful remarks/comments about something that is very sensitive to me.

The fact that someone significant said such a remark about certain issues that mean the world to me just hurts so much.

THIS FEELING IS DAMN FUCKED UP.

TODAY IS A BAD DAY.

EVERYTHING IS SCREWED.

2009-10-10T01:36:00.000-07:00

2009-10-07T21:28:00.000-07:00

I've still yet to post up 2 raya outings photos. Perhaps later?
Filzah & Iffah, i want to join booze-booze with you girls. hehehe, sebok eh.
Huihui randomly ask me in MSN last night if i wanna go ECP, last night itself
for some booze. hahaha, crazy. tell me last minute. but seriously babe, chin up okay? Don't think too much. Sunday morn, can't wait to go jogging and shed some fats with mira. hahaha. I bet i have no stamina left to jog man. nyeheh. :)

2009-10-07T08:45:00.000-07:00

RAYA WITH MY GIRLS.

Syafiqah's crib was the last. We chilled, eat, bitched, slacked our night away in her room.

my two hot ladies.

my curly-wurly ladyyyy. nice curls, babe. i chopped off mine twice already. heh!

i was getting high. -_-

how can i ever miss out on this one, our bitching time. look at nadia, she's loving it.

mira was trying hard not to get herself involve. haha.

i love you girls! xoxo!

2009-10-07T07:49:00.000-07:00

Finally i have manage to snatched most of my raya outings' photos.

so here goes, let the photos do all the talking yeah?

The jalan-rayas was a blast! every single one of them :)

RAYA-CUM-MINI RACIAL HARMONY WITH THE NURSES.

Filzah looks younger than me. hehs!
i miss them so much, see you guys when school re-opens yeah? xoxo!

2009-10-05T21:35:00.000-07:00

Struggling trying to make myself sleep last night, but i couldn't. I curled up into a ball beneath the covers, as memories flooded my head. I guess it's true when they say, 'People change'. I looked back at those times, when we used to be in a clique you always assured that we would always keep in touch and you're not ready to go into a new school. I kept your words. But now, i don't know if you're still the same person I've known years ago. I wish i can rewind back those days, days that we hang out together with the rest and just talk about everything. I missed many people in the past that has made a huge significance in my life, the people who moulded me into what i am now. But truth always hurts, people change, people grow up, people forget about what they have once left behind. Sometimes it takes a little effort and sacrifice, but i'm really sad to say perhaps to you, our friendship are not worth that extra mile. If our friendship matters treasure what is still there, cause once things have change it is hard to mend and patch everything up.

P/S: Thanks love for everything yesterday, you know i know. :)

We did took photos, but im so gonna be dead if i were to post it up here. haha.

Thanks for accompaying me buy the V sneakers yeah? ily.

Dann, you update about 'the girl' column on my blog eh? haha.

later people mistook that i'm self-proclaiming. delete kk? :)

2009-10-03T22:35:00.000-07:00

I had a really loong week, full of raya outings. I'm tired as ever, i lacked of sleep, PMS is being sucha biatch. Due to that i get irritated easily and blew up at the slightest things. I'm really sorry for those who are affected by it, especially to my dearest boyf. i can seriously turn into someone you don't know when im damn agitated/frustrated whatnot.

On a happier note, last monday's movie-date with kay was great. We should have watched Ugly Truth instead of Inglorious Basterds, seriously. :( Thank goodness its the holidays, it feels good to go out to town once again just like the old times. The plan was, he was supposed to accompany me for some shopping. BUT nothing caught my eyes at first until, i saw this pair of red V shoes, that i totally fall in love with but damnn there's no more stock of my size. They will be shipping in, this coming week. Hopefully boyf would be nice enough to accompany me again. HEE! We have been walking and walking for hours but still i didn't buy anything. i was feeling abit down, haha which i know is uber stupid of me. I was just disappointed that i didnt manage to buy anything. Boyf was trying to cheer me up by saying that we can always come again next week. We were about to leave already then i saw alot of beautiful hairbands, i got super excited. really! Kay said he prefers the yellow than the pink one, so ta-da i bought it and happily wear it, in the shop itself. Now that i think of it, its kinda embarassing. haha. i also love the ribbon hairband, some other time then. Boyf, how bout checking out for the shoes tomorrow? weheheee. ;)

I HAD THE AWESOMEST RAYE WEEK EVER WITH EVERYONE IN EVERY OUTING. ( photos will be up soon.)
Nadia and girls, don't be disheartened yeah that only we turned up, atleast he had fun catching up and having some hardcore bitching. i love being bitchy with you guys mannn. hahaha. actually the day before i was damn pissed with some people who don't bother to reply my texts, i don't know why but i can't stand people ignoring my texts/calls. It gets on my nerves. Why bother when they are not bothered right? okay let's drop it, no point dwelling.
so ladies, hang out soon okay!
just like old days, movie-marathoning over at our cribs or something. :)
xoxo!

p/s: HAPPY HONEY-MOONING MY DEAR PARENTS. HAVE A SAFE TRIP BACK YEAH?
i'm so lazy to cook for myself, hehehhee.

2009-10-03T22:16:00.000-07:00

Cause PMS is a bitch.

2009-09-27T07:11:00.000-07:00

The unbearable menstrual cramps.
The major-major PMS period. (i'm sorry boyf.)
The usual annoying never-ending sneezes.
Worse still, i'm losing my voice. i sound like a... you don't wanna know.
WHAT THE HECK IS NEXT?

2009-09-26T07:59:00.000-07:00

While everyone are busy rayering, my parents and i went for a late night shopping spree @ Mustafa last night. hehee. Mustafa has almost everything, from jewelleries, books to electronic gadgets etc etc. Whenever i'm there, i would tend to walk around by myself, while my parents would be busily deciding what to buy. My dad bought himself a pair of shoes, he took such a looong time to pick, i swear. so while waiting............

Finally, he settled on this pair of 'holey' shoes. My dad said the holes are for the 'oxygen' to penetrate in. -__- haha.

I bought a facial scrub, kitkat chunky and these smiley flowers that i've been wanting for so long to put in my room. Anyway there was this weird and pervetic-looking guy, who was stalking on us. so scary, everywhere we went, he's there.. smiling at us. fucking creepy.

My schedule next week is damn packed.

Monday- Day out with Klove.
Tuesday- Jalan-raye w Myra & Co.
Wednesday-Jalan-raye w the sexayy nurses.
Thursday- REST DAY!
Friday- Jalan-raye w Huihui & Co.
Saturday- Jalan-raye w Kay's BCA mates.

I hope everything will go on smoothly as planned. Anyway, to Fitriyah and friends i'm soo sorry that i can't make it this friday. My secondary school mates asked me out first. I'm truly sorry yeah? I'll make it up to you guys soon.

2009-09-23T21:41:00.000-07:00

Come with me let me lead the way
I will be the one that stands beside you
We could be anything we dream
As long as we keep dreaming it together
We'll ride the wind and soar above the clouds
Where we'll be free...

Come fly with me to a place where love has never been before
And you know, It'll just be you and me
Fly with me to a world where no one's ever been before
And you know we wont ever have to leave, come fly with me

I'm missing you so much, monday please come fast. ;)
Get well soon yeah? Drink plenty of water and have adequate rest tau.
Don't pressurized yourself to call me every night, if you're not well, love.

ilysm. (and i know you do too. <3)

(You just love to capture my stupid moments and makes me super irritated. haha, i know you love these old pics. Hope it makes your day.)

2009-09-23T01:53:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, September 22
Smokey the cat shot 13 times in head, walks home

MELBOURNE (AFP) - – An Australian cat named Smokey survived 13 shots to the head from an air rifle and then found his way home after what police on Tuesday called a "shocking" act of animal cruelty.The nine-year-old moggy turned up on his owners' doorstep bleeding from his head last week, three days after he went missing from the family home in Maryborough, central Victoria. A medical examination revealed 13 pellets lodged in his head and face. Sergeant Craig Pearse said it was remarkable Smokey had managed to get home after his ordeal. "This is just a shocking incident where someone either working alone or in a group has shown no regard for animal life and left Smokey for dead," Pearse said.
The distressed feline had to be heavily sedated while 11 of the pellets were removed, he said, adding that Smokey was expected to recover. Animal welfare advocate Hugh Wirth said the incident was "utterly disgraceful", and that Smokey's tormentors deserved jail.

How can anyone be so cruel, to shoot an innocent cat to the head for 13 times with an air rifle? Why go to the extent of shooting it with an air rifle? What a senseless barbaric act. Hello? We are no longer living in the stoneage century, we dont hunt animals down for survival anymore. For fuck's sake, attend some proper rifle-shooting course or something and not practise your shooting and accuracy skills on an innocent living thing, asshole.

On a lighter note, i chatted with HuiHui just now about some girl issues that i have been doubts about. I've been checking out the net for advice too. It is really nice to chat openly with a girlfriend about anything at all especially personal issues that concerns us, the Venuses. Sometimes being a lady, we have a hell load of doubts, thoughts and fears that are left unanswered.

bowling!

2009-09-19T10:22:00.000-07:00

After school on friday, we change into our home-clothes and proceed with our plan which to go bowling. The guys took such a long time in the toilet, we girls had to wait outside for them. mind you, six girls are ready but two guys are still dilly-dallying inside. haha, so we decided to sneak-up at them. :)

Ljs-ed, heeeee. :p Went up after that to book for the lanes, unfortunately there are no more lanes available. Azhar gave them his number so they could call us if the lanes are available already. We split up, Azhar, Filzah and Wira accompanied me to buy my earrings for raya. It took me forever to decide, from Chomel to Diva and back to Chomel. They are al so pretty that i had a hard time deciding. hehe, sorry guys! Finally i chose this grey diamond-studded pair of earrings. Just in time the staff called up Azhar, and we rushed up immediately and meet the rest there. :)

hahaha annu whats with the face? haha.

Bowling was super-duper fun. I swear i was the worst player around man, i couldn't even carry the ball properly. I don't really give a shit, what mostly matters is that, i was enjoying myself, eventhough most of the time, the ball went inside the 'longkang'.Luckily some of them didn't know how to play as well. & Wira's loud distractions weren't helping either. Azhar's turns were the funniest, people at the next lane were equally amused. Them and their crazy antics. haha.

crazy moments captured.

After bowling, we went to a mini arcade. Rishi came. Ainni and Rishi were trying out their luck on this ben & jerrys ice-cream machine, stupid yknow. I bet they are made to cheat peoples' money only. However it was damn maddening, we were all shrieking on top of our lungs, banging and banging on the machine, very exciting and suspenseful. People were all looking at us. Maluuu nyerrr, hehe. Bought Subway cookies w Dann. Lepaked arnd the area for awhile and went to Carl's junior to hunt Yusri and lepak. Bought drinks and there goes the hot bitching session. :)

P/S; Selamat Hari Raya to all, Maaf Zahir & Batin yeah? :)

2009-09-17T06:27:00.000-07:00

I just realised that my eyes are getting smaller and smaller by the day. My eyelids seem much heavier now than before. Haha so weird.
But Kay said he prefers my steamy eyes now.
HAHAHA i wonder whyy ehhh. ;) i dont likeeeee.
i look so hornyyy. nyehehehehe. see, im starting all my senseless ramblings again. Omg i'm so bored now and i want a choco bar. I've been yearning for days to munch on a chocolate bar, preferably boost, chunky kitkat or kinderbueno. Let's just hope my parents would buy me tonnes of chocolate when they are at the supermarket now. :)

2009-09-16T09:48:00.000-07:00

I'm more or less done spring-cleaning my room. Photos are put up, shelves are dust-free etc etc. It took me the whole evening until now, to clean-up my room. I was sneezing non-stop when i was wiping off the dust from the shelves. I was so caught up with my attachment which lasted for 2-3 months ago till the thought of cleaning up my room never actually crossed my mind. Cause each time im back from work, i will be soooo damn exhausted that i don't really care about the state of my room. Omg, can you imagine that? haha.

Anyways, this week my schedule are so damn packed. It is always the last week of Ramadhan that everyone will be rushing to have a last buke-together session. hehs. Tuesday, buke with my girls at Simpang, omg after soo long. I finally get to catch up with my dear Saliha & Fitriyah. Off to Geylang cause Fit wants to collect her baju. 'Bumped' into Boyf and Ash at the bazaar. :) The girls and i camwhored like mad, haha. Had a great evening, Thank you girls. <3

Last evening, another buke-cum-sheeshaa outing with Myra, Dels, Idayu, Azhar, their friends; Rouge, Andre, Raddy. Dels and Idayu came abit later. I had some major bitching/catching up with my dear MYRA. heehee. lamer giler you know i never see this girlfriend of mine.(padahal tinggal sebelah blok.) & i was so happy to see Dels, catched up and camwhored abit. The time spent was way too short, we should hang-out again soon yeah?

Klove picked me up soon after and we jalan-jalan abit at Bugis before sending me home. It was a damn long day yesterday. And i'm still so so tired! Photos of the outings will be up soon yeah?

It feels good to be back in school once again and be around my favourite people. :)

2009-09-10T06:58:00.000-07:00

ilysm, Klove. xoxoxoxoxo.

2009-09-08T09:12:00.000-07:00

NOTE TO SELF:-

i need to clean-up and revamp my room, with my personal photos up on the wall, clear my stuffs till my room is spotless and sparklingly clean. :)
i need to blogshop so badly! argh. i tried to ignore my desires for the past weeks, but my itchy fingers will tend to click on the URLs each time i switch on my comp, and ta-da! i just cant get my eyes and mind off those cute/gorgeous tops and whatnot. tsk.
i need new accessories.
therefore, i need my attachment allowance to come fast!

oh and my attachment is ending in 3 more days, weehee. I'm so excited to be back in school and seeing my favourite people once again. :) oh mannn, my dear dusty tabbner that has been resting on my desk for near 3 months is gonna be sucha burden once again. oh wellls. till then!

p/s: I'm still waiting for your call, Klove.

2009-09-02T07:43:00.000-07:00

Break-fast with my beloved nurses @ Geylang. <3

Thanks eh Wi, your peace blocked my face. -.-

Umar, one of my best mate during attachment.

Lepak-Time.

JN0904 E! :)

Future Paramedics & Nurses. ;)

weehee, Brenda, Dann & Me. :)

Yesterday's Geylang outing was damn happening, i was actually considering not to come due to my sorethroat, fever, headaches plus i was having my monthly PMS period. but thank god, i came cause the minute i saw them, i was cheered up so much that for a moment, i forgot that i was not feeling well. haha.

Filzah & i both didn't really dress up for the outing, haha. For me cause, i wasn't feeling well and so i didnt really bother about my appearance. And i decided not to put on my contacts cause apparently my dear girl dropped her contacts in the toilet bowl, haha so i jiwe-jiwe wear specs with her. heee.

Throughout the evening, I laughed so hard till my body couldnt stop shaking for a very very long time. Thank you loves for making last night one of my best nights eversince attachment starts, it was a bliss having a carefree break once in awhile away from the tedious nursing attachment. :)

2009-08-30T01:25:00.000-07:00

Boyf came over yesterday for break-fast together with my family. He reached minutes before Azan, so late. Made me wait for his arrival only. Hmpf. He brought red bean soup which his dad made, for us. Lazed around for while, but i was getting annoyed cause suddenly my house felt so hot.(haha excuses eh.) So, we left my house and chilled somewhere cooler. Even then, i was still pulling a long face because of the our issue yesterday. &&& suddenly he cupped my face and reassured me for the 8632493th time. That is one of the reason why i love him. As we lay next to each other, talking about almost everything that crosssed our mind.
I'm falling head over heels, with yet the same guy. :)

I will continue to have strong faith and trust in you.
Cherish it. Don't misuse it, love.

2009-08-28T10:14:00.000-07:00

Earlier today, a friend was in so much pain, he found out that his girlfriend is cheating on him all this while, when he was so oblivious to her vicious acts. I've seen friends being cheated on, way too many times. I certainly feel their pain perfectly. I'm disgusted that there are still so many bitches, boyfriend-stealers and jerks out there who still takes their myriad amount of partners all at one time as mere playtoys while the other parties are clueless abt it. I am deeply disgusted i swear. It never fails to irks me when i heard stories of betrayal, nothing else but betrayal. I just cant stand it, I would tend to flare up just by hearing them. The worse thing a person can have ever done, is to betray his/her friend or their significant one who have put in so much trust in them, and have their hearts broken.

It left me with so many thought running through my mind, the sudden adrenaline rush, the rapid and countless heartbeats, the shivers ran though my body as a result, my ice cold hands trembled involuntarily. It stumped me hard, the stabbing pain i felt was unbearable. The same feeling i experienced long long time ago, same old goddamn pain. I thought i would never ever gonna experience this shitty feeling again, but i realised i can never be too sure. I shouldn't anticipate that things are gonna be smooth-sailing. You can never understand the pain, cause you've never been through what i did. The flashbacks are all coming back, i tried to calm myself down. But no matter how hard i tried, it didnt stop my tears from rolling down. Perhaps to you, it may be a small matter and find myself overreacting, you can think thay way, i don't actually give a damn anymore cause: you don't know how it feels like, you just don't. I'm still trying to come to terms with the truth, the rationale behind your actions. I'm still wondering, if i didn't discover it earlier would it lead to.... Only He knows your intentions. There's too much emotions and anger in me, that i couldn't go to sleep. Just so you know, never ever violate my trust towards you, cause this time round the outcome may not be too pleasant. Bear that in mind.

2009-08-24T19:03:00.000-07:00

I'm drained and its only tuesday, can i not go for work today?
There are skills that i've yet to complete, but i just feel soo weak today. sighhhhhhhhhh.
I will be going back this Friday for SIM training in sch, but filzah's is on thurs.

:(
11th September come faster, i can't wait to finish my attachment!
Spend my holidays with the people i love, rayering and back to school. :))

note to self: i must get my hands on that pair of heels, so pretty!

2009-08-15T22:43:00.000-07:00

I was hoping for a nice getaway with you during the weekend. If you only knew...

I'm taking a step back from everything. There is one pain i often feel, which you will never know. It is caused by the absence of you.

2009-08-14T11:05:00.000-07:00

I'm missing secondary school life and all of my girlfriends, && I miss Huihui.

Our sleepover days, our brownie-baking days.

& omg i miss our guiding days, camps. (NCC boys would always block the guides and shout stupid mockcheers during marching, all thanks to the orders sent by my boyfriend, since he has the highest rank. -___-)
i miss all of that. sighh.

i miss fitriyah and sally too.

Eversince i started Nursing, my time with my friends are being cut down so much.

The long hours in sch, the hospital and polyclinic attachments are taking my life away.
sigh. don't forget to update me okay, girls?

2009-08-13T21:45:00.000-07:00

Sheeshaa pics. :)

i miss my liyana baby. :)

i miss my favourite people so much. :(meet up soon okay dearest? <3

I'm supposed to go for the BL camp today, unfortunately my tummy has been giving me problems, i've been puking eversince yesterday during work. sigh.

Went to the doctor last night, and he said its due to gastric or tepeng/ice-tea overdose. HAHA.

I've been drinking it for like 6 weeks already everyday. Saiful influenced me, and i was addicted to it. -_-

I WANNA GO OUT TODAY, I'M SICK OF BEING SICK. :(

2009-08-12T06:04:00.000-07:00

I hope things will get better for us, last week was one of the worst weeks i've ever had or rather we ever went through. It was really bad, to the extent of giving everything up. Thankfully, we still manage to hang on together. I know i can be the most difficult, annoying and paranoid girlfriend you ever had plus my PMS period is another contributing factor, but i can assure you that no other girl can love you the way i do. :)

Friends who have been there, supporting me throughout my difficult moments, THANK YOU SO MUCH; especially Mira, Huihui, etc for all those texts. Not forgetting Dann who have helped me sort up my fucked up blog template just to cheer up my day cause i'll be missing out the fireworks. :(

Sheeshaa at Nabin's with Azhar and Filzah darling together with my CP mates on Monday. They cheered me up so much, after a week of hell. Pics will be up soon. :)

2009-08-07T09:25:00.000-07:00

I'm going to miss the rest, we will be seperated to different polyclinics next week. I'm posted to Tamp Polyclinic with liyana(!! <3) together with Sham & Aliah. haha, wow even fate can't seperate the two lovebirds. :)

Today is the last day working in Ward 39. I shall definite miss working with all the hot nurses there. ;) Thank you guys, for all the guidance throughout the 5 weeks. :)

anyway, to all my darlings out there, don't worry i'm fine and well yeah? :) thanks for the concern. oh and how i wish i could cut myself into many pieces and give a piece of me to everyone, im so sorry if i'm unable to squeeze meet-ups in between my hectic schedule, i'll try my best, if i can. I promise. Text me in advanceeeee. Much loves.

Monday- Sheeshaa with CP mates or Outing with my E class clan? Hmmm.

2009-07-31T10:56:00.000-07:00

Despite the immense effort i put in, it is never enough.
I am never good enough, just a mere failure in your eyes.
I held on today, putting up a brave front when all i felt was just despair.

I nursed this malay uncle few days back and treated him like my own blood.
Hopefully he'll recover soon. :)
If only he knows how his daughter has once hurled me with so much harsh profanities; and robbing my dignity over at this blog itself in the past and now girl, its your father im taking care of. I hope you take back your swearings that you have once thrown freely at me as well as my mum through this very own tagboard.

On a lighter note, i received a phonecall from an unexpected person last night.
Glad you're still the same.
Alrighty, gotta sleep soon. && How come my phone is still soo silent.
I wonder if kay has forgotten all abt me....
Goodnight world.

2009-07-26T08:48:00.000-07:00

Its been ages since we last took pics together. :)

oh and look! we appeared in TV! heee. -.-

It's been really long since i met up with her, finallyyyyyy. Babe, i hope you enjoyed yourself today and and i hope that you like the little pressie and the card. :) i totally feel fatter today, first lunch at Arnolds then i bought my usual Auntie Anne's pretzel, and you persuaded me to get a donut. haha. Eventhough i was feeling sooo heavy and draggy due to the huge food intake today, i still had fun ranting and bitching with you. haha especially over at Arnolds while waiting for the damn queue and our chicken. -.- We must do this again someday. :))

I'm dreading for tomorrowwww, how come my weekend passed by so quickly?

WHYYYYY?
im feeling so miserableeeeeeeeeeee.

2009-07-25T10:39:00.000-07:00

(we took mostly blur pics today so i didn't want to post them up, hence this pic is taken 2 weeks back.)

I had some hardcore crazy fun with kay today. Settled my bills, off to our usual spot to catch up abit and and and...... etc. geeee, sorry shall keep the details to myself. ;) after which, he brought me to ECP to grab some macdonald's takeaways and we continue to catch up, rant and chill by the beach. Thanks for the shaker fries, apple pie and choco milkshake yeah, i forgot to bring extra cash. damn foolish of me. On our way back, we went sooooo crazy, omg. we kinda made a scene, i bet people thought we're drunk or something. so embarassing when i think abt it now, but heck, we had so much fun in our own world, ranting mostly rubbish. I laughed till my jaw hurts. haha. eventhough today was a short meet-up, i still enjoyed myself very much.

&& my sexy boy turns me on with his cute mohawk haircut. :DDDDDDDDD

p/s: MEETING BFF TOMORROW, I'M EGGCITED!

2009-07-24T08:34:00.000-07:00

sempat eh, heeheee. sorry. ignore the toilet bowl pls.

Sham. AHAKKS. -.-

My partner in ward 39, more of my bodyguard.

HAHA.

happy belated steff. ;)

Our Cp lecturer, Mdm Jenny Qian.

W Mdm May Chng.

so thoughtful of them to plan a surprise birthday cake for stef. :)

you guys know what, i'm too lazy to blog actually, i'm here to post up some of my CP pictures, to spice up my blog thats all. hee.

i'll be back with more updates okay.

stay tune. :)

2009-07-18T20:53:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY GF! :)

OLD MOMENTS.

OMG, i miss you so damn muchhhhh. I miss how we often meet up and get crazy together, we will go to every shop to try on clothes and leave the clothes all on the floor after trying. heee. I miss our school days, when we passed notes during biology and chemistry class over such lame stuffs. There was never a dull moment, when i'm with you babe. you know me so damn well that you can simply know that i am troubled and down. you never fail to see the sadness in my eyes. you can simply spot the difference with the condition of my eyes that i had cried the whole night when others can't. Sometimes i am really sadden by how our hectic life seperates us, physically. so must meet up soon, okay babe! and stay strong, you know you can always always turn to me if you ever neeed a big ear to hear you out. HEEE.

& once again, happy birthday my dear girl. Wish you all the best in everything you do. Chin up, you know you're worth so much more right. :) ily.

2009-07-09T08:03:00.000-07:00

Today is already the 4th day of my clinical attachment, and my shift for today was morning. Thank god, been waiting for morning shift where there many duties to be done. Last 2 days for afternoon shift for my team, not as hectic as in the morning. Until now, my feet hurts. Gosh, for an 8-hr shift i only sit for at most 2-4mins at the most, in between. I just applied koyok on my feet, heee. My partner and i work side by side, there are times when we had some underground fun however, there are times to be serious, but it was nice working with that annoying boy, Saifuldin. I literally feel that he's my bodyguard, hahaha! cause everwhere i go he'll tagged along or we will perform our duties together, even the nurses working there thought we're an item? -.- hahaha! Be honoured okayy. ;p

Aside from all of that, i miss all my mates sooooooo damnn terribly. How i wished we could work in the same ward. :( i wonder how are they doing so far. I don't think i can survive for the next upcoming months not seeing everyone, it just feels out of place. azhar, filzah gf, dan, rishi, annu, wira, ayme, iffahhh omg i miss all of youuu. kesian iffah, i know how it feels like, take it easy yeah? :)

Oh! finallly miraaa texted that she's freeeeeeee. must meet up! :))

2009-07-03T05:55:00.000-07:00

Radynurain is dying of boredom, spending her friday night alone in her empty house.
How she wished she didn't turn down her girls for some partying tonight.
Partly because she's sick, with mucus running down her nostrils like a water hose.
She wished she's out with her girls now, DELS & MYRA, watching Vega's dance competition.
&&& partyy real hard after thatt. oh well.

but nooooo, i'm stuck at home alone, blowing my nose on countless of tissue papers.
with no junkies to munch on. oh wait, i think i have some ice-cream in the freezer.
all the dvds are shit, nothing interesting to watch. omg, save meeeeeeeeeee.

2009-07-02T22:28:00.000-07:00

JN0904E

I'm gonna miss my fellow nurses and our lecturers, so damn much.
3 months of not seeing each other. :(
I will definitely miss Pat's gangsterism in class. I will definitely miss teasing Kathleen, hee but of course i don't mean it. && my sweet girl, Weenah who will always always comes to my rescue, remember babe you was my patient for vital signs prac test, and you were trying to talk back to Ms Tan and help me out. haha. & thanks for searching the whole lab for my missing watch(which im still soo not overr it, who the fuck steal it mann? that watch is priceless okay, given by my bf for my birthdayy! urgh! okay cut it.) I'm definitely gonna miss Yusri's singing which sounded like an apek trying hard to sing a malay song, will miss your teases and of course your treats. ;) & oh! will definitely miss Saras and Atiqah J's squabbles in Bio class and many more too many to mention here. people don't forget me okayyy! :))

The Homies.

our new masks, we look like ducklings don't we?

threesomesssss + azhar and dann. :)

After mandarin classes. :D

Prison-breaking over at my crib. Azhar sebok masak kat blakang. hee.

Thank you my darlings for everything, I'm gonna cherish all our wacky moments together.

I'm grateful that i have all of you. All of you have made a difference in part of my life, with you guys i can be myself, i can laugh and smile like i mean it. :) You guys never fail to cheer me up when i'm troubled or down especially when i lost my beloved watch. You guys are there time and again. When i was shocked to tears, thanks to Wira for scaring me, You guys gave me a big hug.

To Dann: Thanks for everything, i know you'd be there at anytime of the day for me. :))

To Filzah and Azhar: You guys spice up my life with so muchh laughter, joy and mentelness. :)

To Annu: Im gonna miss your loud and unique laughter. heeee.

To Rishi: i'm gonna miss you too, Mr Punching bag. i love to punch and push you but yet you never budge. :(

To Wira: The teaser and poker to my ribs. ;p hehe. gonna miss you too, gilerr.

However to Sham: I will have to see you everyday when attachment starts so, i won't be missing you as much, maybe just perhaps your AHAAAAKS laughter. HEHEHHE.

To Fyzah: Eventhough we don't always see much of each other, but it has been nice knowing you.

To Iffah and Ayme: You guys too had made an impact too, i'm gonna miss being 'jantan' with the two of you. hehee. My threesomeee.

Yes Klove, you're not forgotten too okay?

I miss you too, but only if you're nice to me.

heee heeee. jk. :)

2009-06-30T23:39:00.000-07:00

I'm heavily broken

And I don't know what to do

It just seems like I'm choking

And I can't even move

When there's nothing left to say

What can you do

I'm heavily broken

And there's nothing I can do
Almost giving up on trying

Almost heading for a fall

And now I'm screaming

I've gotta keep on fighting

But then again

It doesn't end

Feels like I'm drowning

I'm screaming for air

Louder I'm crying

And you don't even care

The old bitter flashbacks of you and the old times are now constantly recurring in my mind.
Our disputes went a bit too far, you lost your temper and my sobbings provoke even greater outrage. I dont know what's coming over you, i am deeply traumatized by your outbursts. As i curled up on my bed, trembling under the covers i just dont know what else to do, my mind went blank. I just need a getaway, if only the fucking pain can just leave me alone.

2009-06-25T22:12:00.000-07:00

i'm fat. :(((((

BBQ= Food, boozed, smoked, bitched, slacked & Azhar card game.

i laughed so much throughout the game. hehe. :) Kay came around midnight, and joined us. By then, my head was heavy already and throbbing. We girls kept going to Mcds to pee. heee. Had a heart-to- heart talk with Filzah on our way to the toilet. && I miss Iffah already, sampai senget eh. ;)

Things went well at the start but as night comes....
(im sorry but what i'm gonna put down, may sound very depressing, i suggest you may want to skip this part.)

we all went our seperate ways and the atmosphere became more tensed, silence filled the air as some went soul-searching and some tried to cover up by pretending that everything was okay, when its not. A few were even oblivious to everything. I have nothing left to say, i don't give a damn anymore, all these while i have tried my best to help even if takes to struggle by juggling my own pain with all of this shits,unfortunately to no avail. I failed, we all failed. I wish, this circle of pain will end for my dearest Azhar.

you have no idea, how much it hurts to see only agony in the eyes of the people whom i really cared for.

2009-06-23T20:31:00.000-07:00

On monday, we all went to buy the supplies for today's bbq. I swear we went all excited in the supermarket, making many heads turn to look at our crazy and wacky antics. From portable tv to fan to microwave and mini fridge, if they can, they wanna borong the whole supermarket. -.-

Next, we pushed the trolley all the way to my crib, drink and eat rotis while watching prisonbreak. Thanks to that, all of us are glued to our seats till the next few hours, & controlling our bowel movements as well. ;)

Things have been pretty rocky these days, and it has been bringing us both down, at least it is for me. I just hope we will continue to hold on and stay strong though at times the immense pain and frustration eats me from inside, so much so i almost have no more hope to hold on to. But i believe this is all the part and parcel that we have to go through together. Let's hope everything will be better yeah, love? ily.

P/s: Sorry Dann for not replying your smses, thanks for your concern yeah.
Don't worry i'm alright. :)

2009-06-20T09:04:00.000-07:00

Why do I always have that hollow empty feeling inside of me?

2009-06-17T04:06:00.000-07:00

Cramps was a killer.

& i feel damn weak. :(

I'm sorry love i tried to rest and take a nap but i really can't,

i tried but i ended up tossing restlessly on my bed, kicking my eeyores and blanket away from my bed.

I ended up flipping mags and camwhoring with my hp instead. heee. ily.

p/s: I look so blardy pale in the collage, tsk.

2009-06-16T23:10:00.000-07:00

Mandarin Classes; thankfully there are still my favourite mates to combat my boredom throughout. I skipped class for today, cause i was down with fever, headaches, never ending sneezing and sorethroat. Hope to get better soon, I've plans until Saturday and i do not wish to let anyone down.

I gained weight, & i feel like one big fat lump as i sit, typing this down with my fats resting on top of each other. Dearest, no more cancelling of jog dates please, its been twice you cancelled. so you better dont cancel it this friday, or else..... beware of the consequences. ;)

i know you want me, you know i want 'cha.

2009-06-11T22:06:00.000-07:00

(thanks soooo muchh huihui for the unglam candid shot.)

Thursday;

Vybes.
Catched up with Huihui at Tamp; dinnered, bitched, camwhored etc.
Short meet up with love around his area.
Chilled, played silly games at the playground, lay down together and star-gazed. :)

(but he just have to spoil the moment of serenity by pouring water on my hair. -.-) nevertheless, i still love you.

Filzah's lesbianish convo with me earlier. haha i miss you babe.

●•RADYNURAIN•● says:
if im a guy, ill go after you.
●•RADYNURAIN•● says:
so kecik
●•RADYNURAIN•● says:
hahahaha
fillzaaahh says:
hahaha
fillzaaahh says:
if im a guy, i go for u.
fillzaaahh says:
so sweet
fillzaaahh says:
ahaha
fillzaaahh says:
lesbian ah
fillzaaahh says:
ape lagi!
fillzaaahh says:
hahaha
●•RADYNURAIN•● says:
HAHAHAHAHA, alright jugak.
fillzaaahh says:
set!

Talking of which, I'm missing Iffah too. Albeit we just talked on the phone earlier, i still miss being around her. :((

2009-06-11T13:58:00.000-07:00

5:16am

You hanged up the phone and left me crying.

Your tone, your voice were all too foreign to me.

All i wanted to tell you was you mean a lot to me.

I'm sorry, if i was being an irritant.

but i still love you.

goodnight for now.

2009-06-11T10:57:00.000-07:00

It pains me to witness, right from the beginning.
but i did and soon the deep resentment accumulated.
I tried to make it all better for you. Perhaps i failed.
Now, I cant bear to witness anymore of it, i've done my part.
and it's time to let go. Maybe it's for your own good too.
you know who you are, my friend.

2009-06-10T05:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's outing was a blast! Gelare's wild strawberry ice-cream melting on hot crunchy chocolate chip waffles, i couldn't ask for more. yums. Headed to Marina Barrage and camwhored heaps with my favourite people. Met Rishi after that and went to Dhoby Ghaut to have our dinner at Rex's. Oh, and before that Wira has been 'stalking' me all the way, i swear he looks like a sex maniac on the loose with scary crooked teeth and he looks like he's gonna pounce on me anytime. There was one time i was talking to Dan on the escalator, and he jumped out from nowhere and i literally screamed my head off, instantly my adrenaline rush up to my heart, making my inhalation very very rapid. (okay enough of biology, sorry.) I guess my heart couldn't take it, and i started sobbing. HAHAHA. It was a totally embarassing moment, i don't even know why the heck I'm crying. Thanks darlings for the group hug, it sure made me feel better. hahhaa silly willy me. After dinner, we headed to Bugis. Kay fetched me and sent me home. Hope your back is healing. :)

Okaaayy, tomorrow i'm going to Vybes for my usual fringe-straightening.

I have this really strong urge to cut my hair short, concave style. But it's gonna take a hell load of guts to see my hair being snip off. :( oh well.

Hope to meet up with Huihui tomorrow. I really need some hardcore shopping soon. I need to replenish my wardrobe & revamp my hurricane-hit room.

I need a shower now, for the third time today.

2009-06-08T19:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's swimming date with love was damn fun. We played shark-shark, it's like catching but in the water. We also played dolphin-dolphin when we take turns to piggyback each other in the water. Hee. Now our body are all red, due to the tanning lotion that we kept applying again and again. After that, we went grocery-shopping at NTUC. He sent me off to my mum and went home. :)

My mum and i went to Parkway Parade, for some shopping. There are many things that caught my attention, like the Mango tops etc etc, and my mum would offer to buy for me. Somehow i'll always refuse. But there's one thing that i can't resist yesterday, cotton on body undergarments. Heeheee. Only bought bras, my mum wants to buy me panties too but i told her that i still have a lot at home. & She bought for herself a pair of Everbest shoes, she ALMOST bought a matching Esprit handbag. Funny, my mum rarely ons her shopping mode. Anyway, I hope her upcoming major operation would go on smoothly, Insyallah.

Okay gotta get ready, gelare-ing with my darlings later. ;)

'You shoved him aside after what he has done for you, hurled so much profane words behind his back. Your eyes filled with hatred for him, ignored him and his feelings. & when he is slowly moving on....... you pulled him back.' -Just the thought for the day.

P/s: To you, Thanks for the texts last night, so sweet of you. muacks.

2009-06-03T05:30:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the great company. :)

i'm gonna miss you guys HEAPS, when attachment starts next month. :(
(p/s: i know i grew chubbier, like pau looking cheeks right, tell me about it. -.- sighh.)

H1N1 protective wear. -__-

Iffah. :)

my threesome ;)

Ayme. :)

Azhar. :)

(yes azhar, i'm gonna miss you sooo much too, don't cry yourself to sleep k? ;p we will definitely meet up during the weekends or something aite?)

Bottomline is: I am already starting to miss everyone even before my attachment starts, 3 damn months without being around them. I really hope all of us will be able to make it and go to second year. :) ily'all.

Freedom is always and exclusively freedom for the one who thinks differently.

2009-05-31T06:40:00.000-07:00

Mugging session over at Annu's at Lakeside.

But halfway through, boredom strikes. ;)

i love ya'all. :)

hehh, sorry. everyone else was taking a nap. :)

okay i'm going back to my books and notes. Tomorrow is my Nursing Studies paper.

Wish me luck guys, pray for me that i'm gonna get another A alright. :)

Studied abit with love just now, thanks for helping me. Eventhough my mind was elsewhere. I was very distracted by the noisy little kids. :)

2009-05-25T08:43:00.000-07:00

DEAR WORLD AND FELLOW EARTHLINGS,

I want to let you all know that, I miss him a lot and I like the comfort of having a physical human here especially him, knowing that he can hold me and protect me. The fuzzy feeling I get when we’re together. Although I feel “empty” that he is not here, I feel fullfilled that my feelings are real towards him. That we can be apart with minimal contact and survive. That gives me the hope that we can make it through basically anything. I know there is something special about him that makes me loves him more and more each day. Yes to you love, I would like to spend most of my life journey with you and capturing every happy moments together.
(As cliche as it may sound, it's so true and i mean it.)

Prisonbreak season 4 are out, taking my whole life away. Seriously. Hot hot Sucre *melts. okay not important. Point is, i should get back on track and should be furiously mugging for my exams this coming week. Omg.

Note to self: Control! Set my priorities right, Stay focus, goddammit.

2009-05-21T05:50:00.000-07:00

yusri the pimp. heh.

I felt much lighter with all the tests that are over, i havent start worrying about the upcoming exams yet. let me just clear my mind before start panicking. heh.
& my cheeks are being squeezed by so many people today especially azhar. heeee. kesian my poor cheeks. they called me chipmunk(for my huge cheeks and voice) and goldilocks(for my hair). what's next? haha.

It sucks so much to see so many wrong things happening around me, yet i feel so helpless not being able to help much. Its really tough seeing things that are against my philosophies yet i played along. I'm trying very hard not to invest too much of my thoughts and feelings in their issue. i know he's in so much agony. i hope he would continue to stay strong and do whatever that he thinks is best for them.

p/s: Subway double chocolate giant cookies made my day. :)

2009-05-18T06:33:00.000-07:00

I was in the hyper mode the whole day today.(& so were my friends)

No particular reason actually. The cold weather never fails to arouse me. haha.

i love mondays. Lifeskill lesson and then combined lectures in the afternoon when i can sneak junkies into the lecture hall, happily munching away while Amy dozes off, as usual.

We girls went wild during biology. heh.

P/s: you girls better keep your hands to yourself okayyyy. no more fondling and groping. hahaha. ;p

wherever i go, whatever i do,

you're always in my mind.

2009-05-16T04:35:00.000-07:00

happy 18th my favourite girls. :)

Happy 18th Sallyha! xoxo.

(gmbr lamer. whenever i wanna take pic with you ade je yang selit.)

Happy 18th Huihui love! xoxo.

To my dearest girls who have just turned 18 on 14th May 2009, i just wanna let the both of you know that you guys have made a difference in my life. I hope your 18th birthday is one of the most significant moments in your life, the day you turned legally eighteen. heeee.

May you special girls are blissfully blessed with health, happiness and all the good things that life has to offer. I love you girls, and will always do. :)

To Huihui: I really miss you, i'm really sorry if i've been very busy. Sleepovers soon? Brownie-making too? i want to go swimming, shopping etc etc. :(

To Sallyha: Makcik, i miss you many many la. Meet up soon tauuu. Then can giler-giler together with beyonce. :)

To Mirahidongcheese: HAHAHA, at least you know i'm referring to you, too many miras la. hehe. ;) anyway babe, thanks for everything yeah? you know i know. and also the songs now im addicted to them already. haha. I MISS YOU! This feeling is killing me, i bet you have forgotten how i look like already. catch up soon k? moviemarathoning and cookery sessions at my house? :)

To KAY: i'm not forgetting you, i miss you alot too tau. much more than you do, as usual. hehe.

To YOU, yes YOU: for god's sake, please grow up.

phase test was alright just now, biology test 2 coming up. gotta go and mug! :)

2009-05-15T06:06:00.000-07:00

The eyes is the mirror to the soul. :(

2009-05-13T04:36:00.000-07:00

What do you call people who are proud of having their dignity being stomped on by their own feet? and go around boasting about it like as if its such a honourable achievement. eew.
They mock and taunt at others who has a teeny bit of pride and dignity left to hold on to in this ultra modern era when 'it' is no longer a big deal anymore. But hey, i dont give a damn if they no longer holds any respect for themselves okay? i really dont. but at least spare a thought for others who are not like them and respect others' personal decisions/ perspective please. but nooo, they chose to humiliate their dear friend and still thinks those who havent experience 'it' are deprived from their manhood. Snap out of it will you, pea-brained people? GAWD.

I'm still fucken disgusted by most of their species, like big time.
Those with fucken typical mindsets and zero dignity for themselves and thinks its just a game for their own breed. They thinks that we are just mere playthings for them. go and fucking rot in hell okay, BSTRDS.

I'm still not over it.

2009-05-10T02:11:00.000-07:00

Whenever i get my girlfriend to orgasm, she makes this loud, strange noise that sounds like she's yodeling. (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) . No matter how much i try to prepare myself for it, everytime it happens, it scares the crap out of me.

I once dated a girl who was so bad at sex talk that she would say things like "GOOD JOB'' and ''KEEP IT UP''. it felt like i was in bed with my football coach. (HAHHAHAHAHHAHHA!)

During sex, my gf flails around like she's possessed and doesnt pay attention to her arms and legs swinging around. i love that i can get her that turned on, but sometimes she leaves me fearing for my life. (HAHAHHAHHAHA!)whenever shes on top, im afraid that shes not just going to come down on my penis right and punch me if i reach up for a feel.

i dated a woman who liked it when i complimented her private parts. she would say things like "tell it how pretty it is" and ''tell it how delicious it is". after a while, i felt like i had to ask her vagina "how was your day" before we could do it.( HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!)

-from nadiyah's blog, she found this in the magazine.
these are so funny, i'm trying real hard to hide my snickers from my brother is who is right beside me.

2009-05-09T22:07:00.000-07:00

When everything feels so wrong..

When i dont know myself anymore.

When i let my emotions get the better of me.

When i let you down again and again.

When people around just have to squeeze themselves in between us.

When insecurities crept in.

When i feel sad all the time.

When i hates myself feeling all so shitty and drags you down with me too.

Cause i'm afraid of losing you again and again.

I'm living with this fear of you changing back to your old ways.

Eventhough I've been hard on you and hurt you real bad, you still stayed by me.

you never raised your voice at me, albeit me venting my frustrations at you.

You stood by me, unswayed by my emotional waves.

I'm truly sorry love, for being such a pain all this while.

& thank you for still being there.

Yours Truly,

RADYNURAIN.

2009-05-06T07:03:00.000-07:00

High Elements Adventure. :)

Azhar, up there.

I think i have the fairest legs of all. -_-

Dolling up, before going home.

The high element thingy, especially the second activity was damn scary. Walking on the wooden plank without any support. i was really motivated throughout eventhough i was so feeling afraid to the extend of ____. :x (note to self: All thanks to my mates for giving me the moral support and cheering me from below. Especially Danial, Sham and Wira, i can hear their voices throughout.) After it ended, the girls and i went wild inside the toilet. -.- HAHA. Dolled up, went to cafe 2 to buy drinks and toastbreads. & went to the gym to teman Fyzah, so many SMs. hehhh. ;) I need to cut down on my food intake. MUST. okay i'm still unsure if i should go for rugby tomorrow, it starts at 5pm but my class ends at 6! ALAH. The schedule sucks, seriously.

p/s: Stupid stalker called me again. Pleaseleavemealone, idontevenknowyouwell. you'refreakingmeout.

2009-05-05T06:59:00.000-07:00

School was great, like usual i laughed so much till my cheeks hurt. My crazywazy friends never fail to make me laugh and laugh. hee. Anyway, during Sports and Wellness today, we played rugby. very fun. Reminds me so much of my netball days back then. :) I'm guilty of sitting here, blogging instead of mugging for my biology test tomorrow, i'm too tired my brain can't seem to function anymore.

Aina, Filzaaah, ME & Ayme.

my needs/wants badly. ;)

p/s: i have panda-liked eyes, cause i try-try iffah's mascara during LLA. :(

&& i grew fatter overnight. :((((

it's all about you.

2009-05-02T07:52:00.000-07:00

School as usual has been pretty hectic, with the 8am-6pm schedule daily and upcoming tests. I am soo thankfully that my phase test are over and i believed that i did quite well cause i did not miss out any steps, however the lecturer said i need to improve on my body mechanics and the positioning of my wheelchair when transferring the patient, which was Fyzah on that day. Thanks babe for cooperating. :)

All my friends had different impressions of me on my first day of school. Hee!

First day of school.

Iffah- Pendiam.
Azhar- Pendiam.
Ayme- Rilek.
Fyzah- Quiet.
Filzah- Quiet!!
Aina- Pendiam.
Danial- Pendiam.
Sham- Can talk, only if i start the topic first.
Yus- Silent sister. (-.-)

Now.

Iffah- Suke nah ketawe tapi lambat tangkap!
Azhar- Ketawe non-stop.
Ayme- Sarcastic.
Fyzah- Approachable.
Filzah- Soft spoken but bising jugakkan, fun. :)
Aina- Soft spoken, friendly.
Danial- Still pendiam, tapi bile dah start, pedas to the max. Hee.
Sham- Masih bump inside the bus. (okay no link. heh.)
Yus- Silent but sounds. (-__-)

i'm bored, just taking a quick break away from all the portal circulation, Lymphatic ducts etc etc.

Anyway, it sucks when insecurities get the better of you and take control of your emotions. When you feel helpless and tied down to the pain, the intense pain that has once left you so long ago are coming back to haunt you. It feels like hell, i swear.

I hate the past, always. And how much i have to go through that phase of my life will always be at the back of my mind. I know i have affected the people who cared for me, but sometimes when the battle deep within myself is too much too bear. i will just break down and let loose all the emotions in me. I'm deeply sorry to my family and kay if i am not being myself lately and was always so withdrawn.

goodbye, for now people.

2009-04-29T09:45:00.000-07:00

I hope all the pain will stop, and the shits will come to an end.

2 weeks of sleepless nights followed by soaked pillows is enough.

anyway, my first phase test is tomorrow, good luck to me.

i miss you, yes you! see you real soon. ;)

Happy Belated Birthday, Abg Mi.

Enjoyed the night at Swensens & Mustafa. :)

goodnight all.

2009-04-24T05:33:00.000-07:00

i want you to be the way you are now.
you are special in your own way.
& you matter to me.

:( :(

2009-04-23T05:21:00.000-07:00

After a long day in school, i have a strong urge to share my day that is filled with so many events and experiences to someone, especially someone whom can listen to me rant and whine my heart out. Sadly enough, the response was disappointing. Imagine after letting out your heart out, expecting that someone to listen and share their empathy with you, instead you get a 'why are you complaining so much?' i thought you would understand, i guess not.
i'm not in the mood, so leave me alone.

oh anyway, thanks for the muffins arw.

2009-04-21T07:14:00.000-07:00

When i woke up this morning, i scared myself to death to look at how humongous my eye was.

Oh great, what a marrrvelous way to begin my day with, seriously. Sports & Wellness was awesome shit, its been more than a year of not having p.e, what more playing floorball. My all-time favourite sport when i get to wack peoples' legs. Hahaha, kidding! School was fun with my new group of friends however, by the late afternoon i was way beyond exhausted. School ended, made my way to Bugis for evening class. Thanks Kay for sending me. heee. :)

2009-04-18T22:09:00.000-07:00

i'm mentally physically, emotionally(about certain issues) drained after a week of school. perhaps i havent totally geared up for school, so the load of studies was a big blow, for now. wednesday until saturday, my lecturers had rushed through 3(or more i cant remember) topics of bio science and nursing studies and 2 practicals. our time-table is from 8-6pm daily, haha. By the end of the day, all of us were dragging ourselves home with our Tabbners. & not forgetting my Early Childhood classes every tuesdays and thursdays. assignments and Practicum Folder are still undone, Datelines are approaching. so much to do, so little time! Nevertheless, i have made friends and even have our own clique. funny people, especially Azhar. But still, i miss my friends from sec sch. :((

Happy anniversary love, we lost count right? haha. About 4 years.
We have gone through so much together.
from our intense jealousy, pettiness to insecurities.
but yet we still managed to overcome it together.
my first week of sch has brought so much pain to both of us.
& you have tolerated my pmses and my prangai days with so much patience.
i'm so grateful for that. thank you for everything, bf. :)

2009-04-13T08:36:00.000-07:00

18th Birthday.

Sunday, the 12th was my advance birthday celebration with the significant one, kay.

He was supposed to pick me up at 11.

He texted me at 1030 saying to take my time, cause he's gonna be late.

so happily, i took a loooong time to pick my clothes, accessories, dolling up etc.

haha. ;)

Then suddenly i received a text from him, to open my door and go to my doorstep.

With my heart beating so hard, i slowly open my door.

and........(jengjengjeng)

there it was a huge paper bag and a card hanging loosely, with the word 'SURPRISE' followed by happy birthday.

awwww, i was beaming red the minute i saw the paper bag.

hehehe, nice one love.

Finally im ready to leave the house, and i brought the paper bag along without even reading the card. but i did peeked in the paper bag. HEHS. :D

i kinda have an idea of whats inside.

Met kay downstairs. :) hee.

and yes i read and opened up my pressie inside the bus.

HE BOUGHT ME THE BAG I'VE BEEN EYEING ON FOR SCHOOL. :)

not bad ah you, so observant. and THANKS, I LOVE IT!! xoxo.

so we proceeded to Cine to catch Fast and Furious.

and far east, Pastamania for our lunch, Cathay then

Kay totally pampered me with tonnnes of food and junkies.

from DC donuts, fries, popcorns, fried mars bars, pizzas to apple juice (cause i like the cute bottle. hahaha.) but the food was damn good, i tell you. yums.

i felt like one huge living lump of fats, even until now. hahah.

after chomping all the food, i felt sick. a really bad tummyache.

and he still have the cheek to offer me a fricking LONG JOHN SILVER MEAL AND ICE-CREAM. -___-

i was in total pain during the bus ride back.

My jeans button can burst anytime. haha.

but thanks b, for all the food especially the fried mars bar. :)

And lastly, thank you sweetie for everything.

ilysm. :)

indulging in the sinfully delicious fried mars bars.

look at those cheeks! sigh.imma happy happy girl!

thanks eh b for the sarcastic background. -.-
the one. :)

Lunch.
heh, sorry!

Around my area.
heee!
i had a superbly great time. :D

13th April 2009

When i reached home from first day of school, i was damn exhausted.

the orientation was tiring, amazaing race around school in a fricking nurse uniform!

i straightaway took a nap when i reach home with my nurse uniform still on. haha.
an hour or two my mum shook me and forced me to wake up.

i couldnt even open my eyelids, so i ignored her. then she shook and poke me even harder. -.-

and she pulled and dragged me outta bed to the kitchen.

TA-DA! a surprise from my parents.

so thoughtful of them. :)

my dad bought me that pikachu cake. HAHAHA.

Specially thanks to mira for wishing me 3 times, ardillah for posting a birthday wish with a cake on your LJ and my dearest boyfriend for singing for me happy birthday and 'its all about you' on the phone with his friends strumming the guitar. And for the rest of the birthday wishes, thank you people, love ya'll! gdnight.

2009-04-12T14:34:00.000-07:00

Am i having insomnia?
Its been 3 days that i havent had a proper sleep.
I've been sleeping right after dawn and waking up 2-3 hours after that.
My body is damnn tired but i cant simply sleep a wink.
i tried to go to bed early but i kept moving and tossing restlessly under the covers.
It's 5:40 am now, and i totally gave up trying to sleep.
very frustrating. sigh. :(((((

Had an awesomest day with dearest today. :)
thank you for everything, ily.
will update soon yeahh.

note to self: turning 18 today, but when i'm at home i'm 8. haha. i must be determine to ignore my dad and brothers' chases, scares and pokes already. heeeheee.

2009-04-08T08:59:00.000-07:00

OH MY GRACIOUS HAIR. *SOBS

i'm browsing through my folder and having a good look at my hair in those pictures.
cause i'm gonna chop chop some of my hair tomorrow. goodbye curls.
besides my curls are disappearing by the day. :(
sometimes i have the urge to perm my hair again, but considering that i will have a new batch of badly damaged hair pushes the thought away. i also wanna have a feel of having straight hair, (haha i'm that fickle-minded, tell me about it.) but i hate the thought to deal with the curly wurly new hair that will grow on my scalp after sometime. so fugly. i will go for soft rebond but not for now. with school starting and all, i would not have time to take good care of my hair and thus, i dont wanna waste my monehh.

oh, speaking of school... i'm dreading and being damn damn lazeee (as always) to drag myself on the first day. i dont know why, perhaps i'm quite reluctant for the transition. haha private school used to have so much freedom. i feel like as though my freedom is being robbed. HAHAHA. sorry please dont mind me. 4 MORE DAYS TO SCHOOL AND THE DAY I TURNED 18.

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY FITRIYAH BTE SULAIMAN!! May you succeed in life yeah? Work hard for your maths okay, dont mamaen. May you pass your maths with wonderful results and get into Nursing in NYP next year yeah. DONT GIVE UP, CONTINUE STRIVING. hahha aku pulak yang smangat untuk kau. meet up soon k? then we can celebrate our birthdays together gether. love you gf. :)

AMIRAH BTE RAHMAT, I MISS YOU.

FORGET MEEEE ALREADY AHH?

(yelahhh aku sape kannnn. heeee.)

goodnight & goodbye. :)

2009-04-03T20:21:00.000-07:00

dane texted me this last night, '10 more days. :)'

haha thats damn random.

i dont remember that i'm gonna turn 18th that soon, but thanks for reminding. :)

oh, happy 18th birthday myra! may you spend your day filled with fun and laughter with your loved ones by your side. :)

Yesterday, everything went terribly wrong on us.

it sucks and i was damn crushed. :(

and i dont understand why until this moment the pain is still there.

sigh. i feel like going away, far away.

PS; Huihui swimming date again? :)